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THE FAKE NEWS (EE#21)
An e-zine for Norm Macdonald fans
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[ FROM THE EDITOR ]
Happy Birthday to us! Happy Birthday to us!
Who'd a thunk after two years, The Fake News would still
be clinging to the web ... more than that, continuing to grow
in popularity with Norm fans all over the world. Sorta makes
me feel tingly all over. Well, maybe not. But it sure is nice
that y'all find the magazine amusing.
Don't forget to watch Norm host the American Music
Awards Monday night on ABC. Thanks for your continued
support and enthusiasm. -- Noel
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o Donate 10 CENTS to The Fake News with a click!
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[ NEWS ]
Jan. 15 (The Fake News) -- Despite our pleas, ABC will
return "Norm" to death row on Jan. 19. The series will once
again air in the half-hour before "The Drew Carey Show,"
not afterward, where "Norm" shined in the all-important
Nielsen ratings. Instead, the suits have opted to give "Spin
City" the coveted 9:30 slot. In its freshman season, "The
Norm Show" averaged 8.3 million viewers each week. That
average fell to 6.6 million when it moved to an earlier time.
The show rebounded nicely once returned to 9:30 --
practically equaling its previous performance. We feel it's
critical that the show air after ratings power house, "The
Drew Carey Show." Not only for the obvious leadin benefit,
but for the fact that the same sort of people enjoy "Norm"
and "Drew." They're a perfect match, while "Norm" and
"Two Guys, a Girl and a Jar of Tomato Paste" ... well,
that's "The Odd Couple."
--
Jan. 12 (Upcomingmovies.com) -- First, it was
"Ballbusted." Then, "Pittsburgh." It was "Foolproof" when
Universal delayed its December release date. Now, Norm's
next film comedy has pushed been back yet again, for a fall
2000 release, and retitled "Screwed." Pretty apt name, if
you're a Norm fan. And there's even rumblings that the
movie might be called "Getting Even." One can only wonder
if the negative buzz generated from an early screening of the
movie in October, has Universal scrambling to fix the
picture. Let's not forget that MGM dumped the project before
shooting even began (smarting from the failure of "Dirty
Work"). So, nothing surprises us anymore.
o "Screwed" teaser page
http://www.screwedmovie.com
o Preview poorly received
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/newsoct99.shtml
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Jan. 9 (People's Choice Awards) -- You can stop crossing
your fingers, kids. No People's Choice Award for Our
Hero. He lost to "Once and Again" heartthrob BILLY
CAMPBELL. Norm's in good company, though, with
fellow runnerup DAVID BOREANEZ ("Angel") in the "Male
Performer in a New Television Series" category. Somehow
we can't imagine he's too torn up about it.
--
Dec. 20 (The Tonight Show) -- JAY LENO still doesn't
"get" Norm. But, you know, that fact is actually becoming
amusing in itself. Our Hero just shows up, rolls with his
weird vibe, and Jay just sorta sits there dumfounded (when
he's not interrupting). In turn, the studio audience titters and
murmurs -- not sure whether to laugh. But, Norm? He just
rattles along as if a gig's a gig, and he's got a poker game to
get back to as soon as the show's over. He doesn't sweat.
He doesn't prod the audience for laughs. Bombing doesn't
seem to phase him one way or the other. After the broadcast,
we pretty much chalked it up as a loss -- and pulled out a pen
to scribe anletter to Our Hero begging him to avoid
future entanglements with the Black Hole of Comedy, Jay
Leno. But when given the chance to review the video tape,
Norm's genius began to shine ... especially, when he broke
the unwritten rule of not horning in on other guests'
segments. His quick wit with 10-pin enthusiast EMBETH
DAVIDTZ ("Army of Darkness") was reminiscent of past
"Late Night" brilliance.
o Check out the audio clips.
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/1220leno.shtml
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Read more NEWS ...
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/news.shtml
[ APPEARANCES ]
o "American Music Awards" host on Jan. 17 (ABC).
o "One Night Stand" rerun on Jan. 22 (COM).*
o "Dennis Miller" millennium on Jan. 22, 23 (HBO).*
* Available in archive.
[ NORM ]
This week ... Episode 23: "Norm vs. the Old Profession" --
When Norm gets a job as a driver for an escort service, it
leads to him being tempted to be an escort himself.
Meanwhile, Artie begins to sell women's cosmetics and
wreaks havoc in the office when Laurie decides to give the
products a try. CLORIS LEACHMAN ("The Mary Tyler
Moore Show") guest stars as one of Norm's prospective
clients.
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Next week ... Episode 24: "Norm vs. Jenny" -- Laurie sets
Norm up with her friend, who has recently broken up with
her multi-millionaire boyfriend. After hearing about the great
time she's having with Norm, her ex proposes marriage,
which causes Norm to fight for love. Meanwhile, Taylor and
Danny's relationship begins to heat up.
--
"Norm" tapings are scheduled for January 21 and February
4, 11. As of presstime, tickets were still available for each
date. If you're going to be in the Burbank area, visit our
friends at AUI and snag some free tickets:
o Audiences Unlimited, Inc.
http://www.tvtickets.com
[ ARCHIVE ]
Details magazine writer MICHAEL KAPLAN sat in for a
6-hour, after-midnight poker session with Norm and pals
(after a night of work on his debut comedy CD). Along the
way, Our Hero talked about his rather expensive hobby ...
gambling. Check out this unique look at Norm's after hours
life. A special "thank you" to LORI ANN for keying this
story in for our archive.
o Details: Seven card stud (11/99)
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/details2.shtml
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Explore our extensive ARCHIVE ...
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/archive.shtml
[ VIDEOS ]
For a limited time, with a $15 contribution toward the
maintenance of The Fake News, you can receive a thank you
gift of one of our quirky Norm videos!
o Info on the Norm Video offer.
mailto:editor?subject=Videos
[ LAUGHS ]
"The Artist Formerly Known as PRINCE says he now wants
to be known as simply, the Artist. Meanwhile, I will
continue to refer to him as simply, the Fruit."
--
"Dallas cowboy stars MICHAEL IRVING and ERIC
WILLIAMS were cleared of sexual assault charges yesterday
when their accuser admitted that she made up her story.
According to the woman she concocted the hoax under
duress after being kidnapped and held at gunpoint by
Greenbay packers ANTON RISON and REGGIE WHITE.
Dallas police promise a thorough investigation."
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The View: "[The letter] says 'I need your help. I am not
sexually attracted to my husband anymore. He is too fat, and
constantly wants sex. When I look at him, I say to myself
'Yuck!' [Laughter.] But he has no desire to go on a diet. I
have been married for 7 years, and have a 4-year-old son
with him. Do you think this issue is only because of his
weight, or do you think it is deeper than this?' Like maybe
she's a bitch. [Laughter.]"
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Check out more LAUGHS ...
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/laughs.shtml
[ CONTEST ]
The 26th Caption Contest winner is ... CINCY
HAMILTON!!! The next round is already underway. Get
your entries in by the March 23rd deadline and win a copy of
one of our crappy, yet remarkably cool Norm videos.
o Check out Cincy Hamilton's caption.
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/winner26.shtml
o Test your wit in the current contest.
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/contest.shtml
[ STORE ]
COMING SOON ... The Norm Store. Thanks to our
affiliations with leading online retailers, we're pleased to
bring you, the Norm fan, the very best products.
o Buy Norm-related stuff online.
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/store.shtml
--
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mailto:editor
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