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THE FAKE NEWS (EE#20)
An e-zine for Norm Macdonald fans
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[ FROM THE EDITOR ]
You people are the best. I'm grateful to everyone who takes
time to transcribe an appearance, pass along a news tip, or
tells a friend about the magazine. You've also been there
financially -- visiting our sponsor sites, which in turn helps
make the magazine less of a drain on my meager pocketbook.
I just want y'all to know all of these things help, and
encourage me to continue publishing The Fake News.
Oh, and, I'd like to invite everyone to stop in on a hastily
thrown together web page I did in tribute to Ernest P.
Worrell (Yeah, that "Hey, Vern!" guy.)
Your support is appreciated. Have a happy and safe
holiday season. -N!
o Visit the Ernest P. Worrell tribute
http://www.thefakenews.net/ernest.shtml
o Happy Holidays from The Fake News
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/card.html
[ SPONSOR ]
The Hair Boutique -- Hundreds of hair related articles on
everything from hair styling and product reviews to
aromatherapy and nutrition. Gallery of hairstyles, four busy
message boards and online store.
o Donate 10 CENTS to The Fake News with a click!
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[ NEWS ]
Dec. 8 (USA Today) -- The American Music Awards
nominees were rolled out by Norm, CARMEN ELECTRA
and DICK CLARK on Monday in Beverly Hills. Norm says
he doesn't have the slightest idea what kind of gags he'll do
for the telecast. He says producers have said he can do pretty
much what he wants. ''But I can't swear.'' There's a danger
there, he says. ''Like, if you swear in real life, it's tough not
to in those circumstances.'' He expects he'll muddle
through, saying that music awards are an important part of
life. ''I think it's good any time a musician gets an award.
They don't get enough attention.'' (He's kidding.) As for
being familiar with the people the awards will honor, Our
Hero says not really. He's a country music fan, and this isn't
the Country Music Association Awards. ''I don't know if
my MERLE HAGGARD references will go over well. I'll
have to immerse myself in break-dancing music and stuff.
We're gonna rock.'' The program is scheduled to air January
17 on ABC. E! Online reports Carmen will serve as cohost.
However, ABC's release makes no mention of this.
--
Read more NEWS ...
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/news.shtml
[ APPEARANCES ]
o "Tonight Show" appearance on Dec. 20 (NBC).
o "Dennis Miller" millennium special on Dec. 21, 22,
23, 27, 31 (HBO).*
o Norm has bit parts in "Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo"
and "Man on the Moon."
o "People's Choice Award" nominee on Jan. 9 (CBS).
o "American Music Awards" host on Jan. 17 (ABC).
* Available in archive.
[ NORM ]
This week ... Episode 12 (9/29/99): "Norm Pimps Weiner
Dog" -- In an effort to win over Shelly (FAITH FORD
"Murphy Brown"), Norm offers to give her "little brother,"
Jimmy an expensive HANK AARON baseball card. In order
to pay for it, Norm hires his dachshund, Weiner Dog, out for
stud at $200 a pop. This works well until Weiner Dog falls in
love with Denby's pet poodle, Fifi, and won't have anything
to do with the other dogs. KATHY KINNEY ("The Drew
Carey Show") makes a cameo appearance as one of the dog
owners.
--
Next week ... Episode 13 (10/06/99): "Artie Comes to
Town" -- Norm's life is turned upside down when his
half-brother, Artie Henderson (ARTIE LANGE), arrives in
New York City for a surprise visit.
--
Well, the fall season is over. The show struggled in its new
timeslot, but returned to Nielsen prosperity when returned to
its post-"Drew" roost. In its freshman season, "The Norm
Show" averaged 8.3 million viewers each week. That
average fell to 6.6 million when it moved to an earlier time.
The show rebounded to an 8.1 average once returned to 9:30
-- only slightly less than its previous performance. "Norm
vs. Death" was the series' lowest rated episode to date.
"Gambling Man" was the highest of the fall season, and
barely misses the show's high-water mark, "Norm Dates a
Client" (9,996,000 viewers).
11) "Norm vs. Love" (09/22/1999)
7.9 rating/12 share - 7,852,600 viewers
12) "Norm Pimps Weiner Dog" (09/29/1999)
7.4 rating/11 share - 7,355,600 viewers
13) "Artie Comes to Town" (10/06/1999)
6.5 rating/10 share - 6,461,000 viewers
14) "Norm vs. Death" (10/13/1999)
6.4 rating/10 share - 6,361,600 viewers (low)
15) "Norm and Shelly in Love" (10/20/1999)
7.6 rating/12 share - 7,554,400 viewers
16) "Laurie Runs For Office" (10/27/199)
6.6 rating/10 share - 6,560,400 viewers
17) "Norm and Shelly" (11/03/199)
6.6 rating/10 share - 6,560,400 viewers
RETURNS TO POST-DREW SLOT
18) "Gambling Man" (11/10/199)
9.9 rating/15 share - 9,345,600 viewers (high)
19) "Norm vs. Norm" (11/17/199)
8.6 rating/13 share - 8,118,400 viewers
20) "Norm vs. Denby" (11/24/199)
7.4 rating/12 share - 7,355,600 viewers
21) "Norm vs. the Boxer" (12/01/99)
7.5 rating/11 share - 7,455,000 viewers
22) "Norm vs. Christmas" (12/15/99)
8.6 rating/13 share - 8,548,400 viewers
--
"Norm" tapings are scheduled for January 7 and 13. As of
presstime, tickets were still available for each date. If you're
going to be in the Burbank area, visit our friends at AUI and
snag some free tickets:
o Audiences Unlimited, Inc.
http://www.tvtickets.com
[ ARCHIVE ]
When it rains it pours. An inside report from another "Norm"
taping just came in. We're not sure of the episode title, or
when it'll air, but our correspondent CHRISTOPHER
CLEARY was there for the December 10th taping and files
this report.
o "Norm" Insider Report
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/report121099.shtml
--
Explore our extensive ARCHIVE ...
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/archive.shtml
[ VIDEOS ]
For a limited time, with a $15 contribution toward the
maintenance of The Fake News, you can receive a thank you
gift of one of our quirky Norm videos!
o Info on the Norm Video offer.
mailto:editor?subject=Videos
[ LAUGHS ]
"This week, the Chairman of the Board, FRANK
SINATRA, turned 81 years old, and was honored by having
the Empire State Building lit in blue. Also in Mr. Sinatra's
honor, the Empire State Building had the Twin Towers
rough up the Chrysler building."
--
"In a recent interview actress GOLDIE HAWN says that she
does not mind if the man she is married to cheats on her.
Explaining 'Sexual experimentation is a basic need of all
men'. You can read more about Goldie Hawn's personal
philosophy in my new book: 'Goldie Hawn, the Greatest
Women who ever lived!' "
--
The Chris Arnold Show: "[BOB SAGET is] a very funny
guy. I saw him -- he was the first club comic I ever saw,
when I was like 13 years old in Canada. He came through,
and he was really a funny guy. His act was very edgy and
kind of dirty and stuff. So, I always told people about him.
It's funny -- and then, he does all these bad shows. And
people go, "What? Are you crazy?!" And I go, "No, I swear
he's funny." So, when I was looking for a director, he
showed me this film he made in college -- he actually won a
[Student] Academy Award for -- that was very funny. And,
he knows alot about film making, and he's a funny guy in
person. And, uhhhh [laughs to himself, pauses]. People do
hate him. It was funny when we were filming [the movie.]
He's an incredibly famous guy. Everyone recognizes him.
But, no one compliments him. They just go, "You're Bob
Saget!" They never say, "You're great!" They just identify
him. "
--
Check out more LAUGHS ...
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/laughs.shtml
[ CONTEST ]
The 26th Caption Contest is underway. It's going to be an
especially long one, as we're tripling the prize to celebrate
our 2nd anniversary. So, get your entries in by the January
6th deadline and win all three of our crappy, yet remarkably
cool Norm videos.
o Test your wit in the current contest.
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/contest.shtml
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