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THE WINNER
"In his recurring nightmare, Norm watches all the women in his life, one at a time, turn into Howard Stern."
 Mike Bass
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TOO GOOD NOT TO SHARE
"This just in ... "

Payman Abdollahi
"Hey, I can't see the cue cards!"

Daniel Abrahamson
Saturday Night Live gathers a high 83.2% of the "male, horny and
home alone on a Saturday night" demographic.

Evan Anderson
"Ok, Howard, you can stay King of All Media, if I can be Jester in
Charge of All Breasts."

Evan Benn
"NOTE TO SELF: Finish fake news BEFORE the huge party with
the crack whores."

Jessica C. Bishop
"Hey Howard, tell that beekeeper guy that the vicious swarm of
bees he sent after us were actually bikini-clad crack whores!"

James Carter
"Talk about your great service! I didn't know Hooters
delivered!!!"

Mark S. Daniels
"Mom? What are you doing here?"

Gabrielle Dew
"Man, would you look at this. I swing it so we can get Bob Dole
on the show and he gets me three grand in hookers to show his
thanks. What a dirty old bastard."

Adam G.
"In other news, the Democratic National Convention kicked off in
New York City this year."

Chris Helms
"I'm Norm Macdonald, and this is the fake news, our top story
tonight, 'I am a lucky, lucky man.' "

Jodi
"NOTE TO SELF: Sex with blow-up dolls is not as good as
advertised. Especially when they send you a Howard Stern doll in
the package by accident."

Amanda Lewis
"What's that? No Bubbles, I'm sorry. I don't have any crack. Try
the Ohlmeyer residence."

Mung
"And Norm said, 'Let there be HOOKERS AND LESBIANS!'
And there were hookers and lesbians."

Tony Olson
"Hey, hey, hey! Why do I only have TWO broads? He's the guy
with the little penis!"

Ryan Patrick
" ... We only have a few more crack whores left. So, order now!"

John Rabon
According to Guinness, the world record for gluing lesbians to
Howard Stern and Norm Macdonald stands at seven.

Brad Robertson
"I had this weird dream, you know? It started off with me making
out with hot chicks in bikinis. But, it ended up with me making out
with Tiny Tim in welding goggles."

Marc S.
"No ladies, the White House intern try-outs are in Studio 6."

Shen
"I said, 'Now the news.' Not, 'nudes'!!"

Lecia Szuberla
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