Utilize Napster.

I went to Taco Bell today for lunch with my mom, we went through the "drive-thru". You know how at first they have the recording... "Hi, welcome to Taco Bell. Here's our specials today, or whatever. Thanks for eating Taco Bell. Can I take your order?" and then my mom starts to order. But see, it was still the recording, and the guy at the register wasn't even paying attention, I'll bet. So then the real person comes on and says nearly the exact same thing as the recording. My mom repeats the order- 2 burrito supremes, 4 regular tacos, and a Choco Taco. The guy reiterates, adding, "Would you like to try some of our new cinnamon twists, only 87 cents?" Mom said no, thank you, and the guy gave us the total. As we were pulling up to the window, we were discussing how he sounded like a nice American, you don't see too many of them working at Taco Bell, it's always those Mexican fellows. So we pull up to the window and pay the amount on the screen...then the American guy says, "wait, you said you wanted a Choco Taco, right?" "yeeeees." "Oh, I'm sorry, I rang up the cinnamon twists. let me fix that for you." Silly American. So then he proceeds to hand us back the change for the 20 my mom paid with, plus the cost of the cinnamon twists which we did not want. Then he says, "That'll be 89 cents." We're like, "what the hell for?" "For the Choco Taco." So we're like, what a dumbass, and my mom gives him the 89 cents. Then he goes, "is this for the cinnamon twists?" and I laughed out loud, because I thought making light of the situation with a joke. But it turns out he was serious. We're like, "nooo, that's for the Choco Taco." "That's $1.39." "You said 89 cents." "No, I didn't." "Yes you did. You said 89 cents for the Choco Taco." "No, the cinnamon twists are 89 cents, the Choco Taco is $1.39." Frustrated, my mom gives him the $1.39 and the stupid American gives us our food. Jeez, he sure wanted to sell us those Cinnamon Twists. You'd think he was getting Cinnamon Twist commission or something. So that just proves my point... Taco Bell is just better with Mexicans. And now that I have explained that horribly... Where's Perturbed when you need him? Buh-bye. -K

Thanks,
Kyle

Okay, maybe you had to be there.

Regarding the poor reception his bestiality jokes got in Iowa: they say a person can't be really offended by something unless it hits too close to home. ;)

This guy walks into a psychiatrist's office with a concerned look on his face. "Doc," he says, "I'm worried. It's that dream. I'm having it again." "What dream." asked the shrink, not really paying attention. "You know," says the man, "the one where I'm into sadism and bestiality and necrophilia. Should I be worried or am I just beating a dead horse."