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 Sept. 30  Audiences Unlimited, Inc.

EDITOR'S NOTE: This item has been updated to reflect new taping date.

Norm's triumphant return to television seems to be on the fast track. On Oct. 14, Audiences Unlimited, Inc. will begin issuing free tickets for the first studio audience of The Norm Macdonald Show. According to AUI, the taping is slated for Dec. 22 at Warner Brothers Studios in Burbank. AUI has generously offered to arrange "priority seating" for our readers. If you wish to attend -- drop us a note (include your name, address, phone number and # of tix) and we'd be pleased to inform AUI of your interest! No one under 18 admitted.

 Sept. 16  Late Night with Conan O'Brien

CONANCongratulations to our pal Conan on five hilarious years! During "Conan's 5th Anniversary Primetime Special," Norm made the Best Interviews reel when he interrupted Courtney Thorne-Smith with his adlib slams of Carrot Top's "Chairman of the Board." C.T. being what Charlton Heston would call a damn, dirty prop "comic." His real name happens to be Scott Thompson, not to be confused with The Great Scott Thompson of "Kids in the Hall" and, of course, Scottland. Anyway, Norm suggested a title for the movie, "Box Office Poison." When told the real title, Our Hero said a more apt title would be "Chairman of the Bored." We've compiled short and long audio samples. Unfortunately, the original appearance doesn't reside in our Norm archive. Hint, hint, hint!

 Sept. 9  The Daily Show

Monkey see. Monkey do. Three months after Norm triumphantly aced the infamous "5 Questions" -- Colin Quinn has done the same. Well, sorta. Craigers practically gave him two answers. Pre-quiz banter included Quinn "jokes" and the inevitable Ohlmeyer question, "Has he called?" Unfortunately, the answer was, "No."

 Aug. 7  The Hollywood Reporter

Norm joins the cast of "Man on the Moon," a biopic about the late, great comedian Andy Kaufman starring Jim Carrey. Our Hero's part will most likely be small, he's currently set to appear as a rival comedian ribbing Kaufman on a late-night talk show. "Moon" marks his second movie under the direction of Milos Forman.

 July 24  Variety

Norm's inked a deal with Warner Bros. TV (not to be confused with the WB network) to star in his own sitcom co-created by Bruce Helford, executive producer of "The Drew Carey Show." "They've been in the trenches together, and they see the world the same," Warner Bros. TV president Tony Jonas said. "Just like 'Drew Carey' had a clear and potent point of view, we're looking at the same magical combination." Helford and Macdonald won't reveal the concept for their new series until they pitch it to ABC, but Helford said "It's going to be very edgy, and it's based more on Norm's standup routine than on what he did for 'SNL.' ... The show will be very honest and will cut through a lot of b.s." Read the story.

 July 24  The Fake News

Norm's next movie has switched its title from "Ballbusted" to "Pittsburgh." Set to begin shooting next month in Vancouver, the $15 million picture costars Dave Chappelle.

 July 21  The Fake News

IreneHmmm. Could it be? We've been watching MTV's "The Real World VII: Seattle," and can't help but wonder if Irene McGee is the lost Macdonald? They each have curious musical choices: Norm favors George Jones, while Irene worships Neil Diamond. Each speaks in a slow, deliberate fashion. They share a dry, unyielding acerbic wit. Both have curly hair. Irene even gets booted from the house later this season -- not unlike Norm's ouster from "Weekend Update." We're not going to come right out and say Norm fathered a love child at the tender age of 12, but hey, the similarities are striking. You be the judge.

 July 13  Variety

Norm is in early talks with Warner Bros. TV, Disney and Twentieth Century Fox about starring in his own TV sitcom. Warner Bros. appears to have an edge -- the studio is offering to pair Our Hero with one of its top comedy writers, Bruce Helford, the executive producer of ABC's "Drew Carey Show." Helford and Norm, who became friends when they worked together on "Roseanne," have been kicking around ideas for a sitcom. Sources say a deal could be reached in the next few weeks.

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