Dec. 22

Premiere

Norm's next feature "Pittsburgh" is starting to get some press -- the January issue of Premiere magazine gives us an early look. Writers/Directors Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski attempt to explain their new comedy, and cast members try to explain Scott and Larry. Well, you'll just have to read it for yourself.

Dec. 18

Audiences Unlimited, Inc.

Will the fourth time be the charm? The taping date of Our Hero's TV pilot, "The Norm Show," has bounced from Nov. 13 to Dec. 11 to Dec. 22 and now -- drum roll please -- Dec. 23. We don't know the source of these delays -- but, we hold that dirty bastard Frank Stallone wholly responsible. AUI has given us additional, tentative taping dates: Jan. 29; Feb. 5, 12, 26; March 5, 12, 26 and April 1 (they've got to be kidding on that one, huh?)

Dec. 16

Variety

Norm is sticking to his roots with the addition of Laurie Metcalf to "The Norm Show" cast. She played the sister, Jackie, on "Roseanne" (Norm's old writing gig), which earned her a best supporting actress Emmy three years in a row. Now, she'll play one of Our Hero's social worker colleagues. ABC has given producer Bruce Helford a 13-episode commitment, and, if ABC likes the pilot (shooting Dec. 22), the show could air as early as midseason (we're hearing March) -- possibly in the post-"Drew Carey" Wednesday 9:30 p.m. timeslot. Metcalf is one of those high-tone "thespians" who's a member of the prestigious Steppenwolf Theatre Company's ensemble cast. A group that includes The Great John Malkovich and that old dude from "Fraiser." Her movie credits include "Bulworth," "Scream 2," "Leaving Las Vegas" and "JFK."

Dec. 13

MAD Magazine

Our Hero has officially made the "big time." He's been lampooned by the Sultans of Slams -- MAD magazine. The January (#377) issue's cover story is "The Dumbest People, Events & Things of 1998," and features Norm "Cry Baby" Macdonald for his "SNL" firing and unprecedented harassment by NBC West Coast President Don "The Weasel" Ohlmeyer. Other notables roasted by the MAD satirists: James Cameron, Dennis Rodman, Calista Flockhart, Ginger Spice, Jerry Seinfeld, Bill Gates, Jerry Springer, Monica Lewinski and even those charming kiddos from "South Park." Norm ranked a respectable 13 out of 20. Here's what they wrote:

#13 NORM "CRY BABY" MACDONALD Former Weekend Update anchor Norm Macdonald claims he was canned from "SNL" for making jokes about NBC President Don Ohlmeyer's knife-wielding buddy, O.J. Simpson. Don claims Norm was canned for not being "sharp and controversial." And WE claim that no one gives a rat's ass about the petty bickering between a pompous, marginally-talented stand-up and a grossly overpaid, incompetent TV exec -- although you'd never know it from all the play the media gave this monumental non-story. NORM MACDONALD LOST HIS JOB * Norm Macdonald lost his job!     Thrown off S-N-L! He went on Howard Stern to sob,     Letterman as well! With a bitch bitch here     and a whine whine there -- Here a moan, There a groan, Wailing like a trombone! Norm Macdonald had no job --    once that big axe fell! Norm Macdonald made a flick,     "Dirty Work" its name! Made everyone who watched it sick!     What a friggin' shame! With a "thumbs down" here     and a low gross there -- Here a flop, There a flop, Infomercials -- next stop! Norm Macdonald faded quick --     now he's "What's his name"! * sung to the tune of "Old MacDonald Had a Farm."

Dec. 6

The Los Angeles Times

Robert Simonds, maker of all four Adam Sandler movies, still hopes to turn Norm into a bona fide star -- even in light of the undeniable bust of the first Simonds-MacDonald project, "Dirty Work." But, with careful retooling, the usually caustic Macdonald could also transmogrify into something kinder, gentler, dumber, sexier. In the upcoming "Pittsburgh," Norm has been given a beautiful love interest, Sarah Silverman. "Norm is very sweet in this film ... In Pittsburgh, the guys are doing some strange and not bright things, but they've got good hearts ... Most of Bob Simonds' movies play up these commoner guys with low IQs who are just trying to do the right thing," says Scott Alexander, who with Larry Karaszewski, has written and directed the movie. Dave Chappelle will co-star in the Universal Pictures comedy about two buddies whose plot to kidnap the dog of Norm's rich employer goes awry.

Dec. 2

Audiences Unlimited, Inc.

As many of you are painfully aware, taping of "The Norm Show" (formerly "The Norm Macdonald Show") has been delayed yet again. Originally scheduled for Nov. 13, later Dec. 11 -- now, Dec. 22 at Warner Bros. Studios in Burbank, CA. But, hey, here's a consolation. We now know Our Hero will portray the "Pete Rose of hockey." Once a professional hockey player, he's convicted of gambling and tax evasion and banned from the sport for life. Now, he does community service in a New York social-work office. There's a wacky sitcom premise if we've ever heard one. The show could debut this spring as a mid-season replacement, but a conservative bet would be a slot in ABC's fall schedule.* Audiences Unlimited, Inc. has generously offered to arrange "priority seating" for our readers. Write us if you wish to attend the taping. Include your name, address, phone number and # of tix.

* EDITOR'S NOTE: I'm starting to get reports (Entertainment Weekly, USA Today and The Los Angeles Times) on "The Norm Show." As suspected, ABC will air the Warner Bros. program that's tentatively scheduled to fill "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"'s slot on Wednesdays. It's almost certain that it'll be a mid-season replacement -- probably as soon as March. -N! 12/16