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THE FAKE NEWS (EE#14)
An e-zine for Norm Macdonald fans
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[ FROM THE EDITOR ]
Just so everyone's aware, I made a request for a brief
telephone Q&A with Norm through his handlers at ABC. I
have received no response. I'm not too surprised by that, as
when I spoke with them last season, there wasn't much
interest then either.
I'd hoped to have him field questions submitted by readers
of The Fake News. Maybe we could finally resolve often
asked questions like, "Hey! When's that comedy album
coming out?!" Dare to dream, eh?
While I'm whining ... please, please, please CLICK ON
BANNERS displayed throughout the magazine. I pay $110 a
month to keep the site online. Understandably, I'd like to see
some of that money again. That'll do for now. Enjoy, -N!
[ NEWS ]
Sept. 12 (The New York Observer) -- We'll be seeing less of
"Norm" this season thanks to Disney. ABC has ordered
producers of its prime-time programs to trim their shows by
at least 30 seconds per episode (from 22 minutes to 21 or
even lower). The order will immediately create more
advertising space and should give their corporate parent, the
Walt Disney Company, an additional $50 million. "Norm"
producer BRUCE "THE GENIUS" HELFORD isn't
pleased, "When the business interests take over the
networks, they no longer care about broadcasts or that
they're trying to entertain people ... are we here to serve the
public or sell to the public? It's almost like we don't care as
much about the entertainment." ABC already airs more
non-program stuff than other broadcasters. According to a
recent survey, the other nets aired a record 15 minutes 44
seconds of non-program time per hour for commercials and
promos, up from 15 minutes 19 seconds the year before.
While ABC aired 16 minutes 27 seconds per hour of
non-program material. But Disney chief executive
MICHAEL EISNER has made it clear he wants to squeeze
more money from his $19 billion, third-place TV network,
which is struggling to make a profit this year and is
considered a major drag on Disney stock.
--
Sept. 6 (The Fake News) -- We've finally received some
inside info from the set of "Norm" this season. Fake News
correspondent SHING HWONG attended the August 20th
taping, and even landed himself a copy of the shooting script
for "Norm Pimps Wiener Dog" autographed by its writer,
ROB ULIN. You'll remember, that a new feature of "Norm"
will be a preshow counseling session between Norm
Henderson and a celebrity ... according to the script, this
episode it'll be none other than the Weekend Update high
priest DENNIS MILLER. We've read the script, and there
are plenty of solid laughs, and that's just on paper. The gist
of the story is basically what the title implies. Norm decides
he'll impress Shelly (FAITH FORD) buy getting her Little
Brother an expensive gift. So, naturally, Norm offers Wiener
Dog to stud for willing, girl dachshunds at $200 a, ahem,
pop. Meanwhile, Laurie is selected to have an article she
wrote printed in Newsweek, but there's a catch -- the
magazine needs a photo of her and she's chronically
unphotogenic. Danny, also an amateur photographer, tries to
save the day. Wackiness ensues. Looks to be a great
episode. Remember, if you attend a "Norm" taping, please
pass your experience along. We're all ears.
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Read more NEWS ...
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/news.shtml
[ APPEARANCES ]
o "Late Show" appearance on Sept. 21 (CBS).
o "Regis & Kathie Lee" on Sept. 22 (SYN).
o "Dennis Miller" rerun on Sept. 22 (HBO).*
o "Late Night" appearance on Sept. 23 (NBC).
o "One Night Stand" rerun on Sept. 25 (COM).*
o Norm will appear on "The Howard Stern Show," but we
haven't pinned down a date. When we do, we'll post it.
* Available in archive.
[ NORM ]
This week ... Episode 11: "Norm vs. Love" (Season
Premiere) -- Norm reluctantly admits his feelings for Shelly
and asks Laurie (who declines) to try and set them up. After
a few pathetic attempts at asking her out, Norm begs Laurie
for her help. She agrees and throws a party so they can
mingle outside of work. However, it takes a turn for the
worse when Shelly brings a date to the party and Norm's
plan backfires. In addition, Taylor Clayton (THE AMAZING
BREASTS OF NIKKI COX, "Unhappily Ever After"), who
has just recently completed a prostitute rehab stint, is hired
by Norm as the office receptionist -- without Mr. Denby's
permission. FAITH FORD ("Murphy Brown") guest stars as
Shelly Kilmartin.
--
Next week ... Episode 12: "Norm Pimps Weiner Dog" -- In
an effort to win over Shelly, Norm offers to give her "little
brother," Jimmy an expensive HANK AARON baseball
card. In order to pay for it, Norm hires his dachshund,
Weiner Dog, out for stud at $200 a pop. This works well
until Weiner Dog falls in love with Denby's pet poodle, Fifi,
and won't have anything to do with the other dogs. KATHY
"MIMI" KINNEY ("The Drew Carey Show") makes a
cameo appearance as one of the dog owners.
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"Norm" tapings are scheduled for October 1, 8 and 15. As of
presstime, tickets were still available for all three dates. If
you're going to be in the Burbank area, visit our friends at
AUI and snag some free tickets:
o Audiences Unlimited, Inc.: "Norm"
http://www.tvtickets.com/magic.acgi$ShowDetail?ID=64
[ ARCHIVE ]
This week, Norm will make his third visit to "Live! with
Regis & Kathie Lee." His first was during the "Dirty Work"
tour, when he stopped by to make eyes at KATHIE LEE
GIFFORD. Oh, and the Great Director, BOB SAGET, made
a surprise appearance.
o "Live! with Regis & Kathie Lee" (June 4, 1998)
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/regis.shtml
--
EW's MIKE FLAHERTY takes a look at what the new
season of "Norm" holds in store for viewers. It's a good
read, with quotes from the sitcom's stars and producer.
o Entertainment Weekly (Sept. 10, 1998)
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/week4.shtml
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Explore our extensive ARCHIVE ...
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/archive.shtml
[ LAUGHS ]
"Talkshow host RICKI LAKE was arrested for vandalism
after demonstrating against fur. She said wearing fur is in
bad taste. Then she returned to her studio to tape a show
titled 'Why whores get the clap.' "
--
"In North Dakota, a hunter narrowly escaped death when a
pocketknife in his breast pocket deflected a bullet shot by
another hunter. Man, you know we have too many weapons
in this country when people are getting shot in the knife."
--
EW Online: "I like ABC because it's the American
Broadcasting Company. I think that's nice. NBC, they don't
tell you what nationality it is. And CBS...that's a bunch of
f***ing Colombians."
--
Check out more LAUGHS ...
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/laughs.shtml
[ CONTEST ]
Our 23rd Caption Contest wraps up this week. Get your
entries in by the Tuesday deadline and win a copy of one of
our crappy, yet remarkably cool Norm videos.
o Test your wit in the current contest.
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/contest.shtml
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THE FAKE NEWS
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