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THE FAKE NEWS (EE#7)
An e-zine for Norm Macdonald fans
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[ FROM THE EDITOR ]
Congrats to Norm and the gang on a successful season at
ABC! In a couple months, tapings of new episodes will resume
and we expect to be able to offer priority seating to our readers,
thanks to the generosity of Audiences Unlimited, Inc. More
news on that, as it becomes available.
There are two items I'd like help from y'all on. First, I've
been unable to pin down the suspected release date of
"Ballbusted aka. Pittsburgh aka. Foolproof" (whatever the
SCOTT ALEXANDER and LARRY KARASZEWSKI movie
is currently called.) Also, a number of you have reported
seeing Hardee's commercials in which Norm provides the
voice for their mascot -- a foam-rubber star. These spots do not
air in Dallas, so if you happen to snag one or more of them on
video ... I might be persuaded to offer a meager reward.
Thanks for your continued readership. -N!
[ NEWS ]
May 19 (The View) -- You've seen the parodies of "The View"
on "Saturday Night Live." Parody is probably the wrong
word, because the truth is far stranger than SNL's fiction.
Only, grating DEBBIE MATENOPOULOUS isn't there
anymore. They've hired a much cuter gal with a much shorter
name: LISA LING. But the program is still YentaTV. Which
begs the question: "Why Norm?" Here's the deal. Norm was in
New York for ABC's unveiling of their fall schedule -- a
brouhaha that's more of an advertiser schmooze fest than
anything else. Cue ABC honcho: "Oh, and Norm, while you're
in town ... do 'The View.' " Suits love inhouse promotion,
especially when its used to reach a desired audience. Namely
women. Our female readers already have their minds made
about Norm, but there's a whole group of women out there
who haven't a clue: "The View" audience. Now they know.
What could have been a disaster turned into television gold
when Our Hero bounded on stage to chat with "View" vixens:
BARBARA WALTERS, MEREDITH VIEIRA, STAR JONES
and JOY BEHAR. Topics spanned from Star Wars, to Norm's
body image, to his lust for Meredith. Barbara was sometimes
aghast, but the studio audience ate it up, along with the other
giggling hostesses. Easily Norm's best outing since springing
DON KING on DAVID LETTERMAN in March.
o Check out audio clips from the broadcast.
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/0519view.shtml
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May 18 (ABC Television Network) -- ABC has trotted out their
fall schedule, which includes a new time slot for "The Norm
Show." The sitcom moves ahead of "The Drew Carey Show"
to 8:30 p.m. Wednesdays following "Two Guys, a Girl and a
Pizza Place" (aka. "Crap.") But fear not, for the time being,
"TNS" still nestles the nurturing bosom of "TDCS."
Hopefully, this will mean continued Nielsen success for Norm
whose audience seems to gel well with that of DREW CAREY.
Norm's freshman season has averaged about 8 million viewers
weekly and will end May 26 with the final installment of
ABC's original 10-episode order, "Norm's Coach." Rumors of
"Whose Line Is It Anyway" returning to follow "TDCS" have
been proved false, as the improv-comedy series moves into
lead position at 8 p.m. Thursdays. So, who gets to follow
"TDCS"? Why, another wacky sitcom, of course! With a dog.
A decidedly pale ensemble cast. Imagine that. What's next? A
Cuban crooner with a bumbling redheaded wife? Note to the
lovely ABC President JAMIE TARSES: "Oh Grow Up."
[ APPEARANCES ]
o "One Night Stand" rerun on June 12 (COM).*
* Available in archive.
[ THE NORM SHOW ]
This week ... "The Norm Show" does not air. But, here's a
look at the freshman sitcom's impressive Nielsen ratings:
1) "Norm and the Prototype"
9.3 rating/15 share - 9,260,000 viewers
2) "Norm Dates a Client"
10.1 rating/16 share - 9,996,000 viewers (High)
3) "Norm Dates Danny's Dad"
9 rating/13 share - 8,946,000 viewers
4) "While You Weren't Sleeping"
8.5 rating/12 share - 8,449,00 viewers
5) "My Name is Norm"
7.5 rating/11 share - 7,455,000 viewers (Low)
6) "The New Boss"
8 rating/12 share - 7,952,000 viewers
7) "Denby's Kid"
8.1 rating/12 share - 8,051,400 viewers
8) "Drive, Norm Said"
8 rating/12 share - 7,952,000 viewers
9) "Norm, Crusading Social Worker"
7.7 rating/11 share - 7,653,000 viewers
10) "Norm's Coach"
7.8 rating/11 share - 7,753,200 viewers
[ ARCHIVE ]
In the Dallas market, there's a sports radio station called "The
Ticket" (KTCK 1310 AM) that's celebrating its 5th year. It's
not your typical jock talk, as you're as likely to hear discussion
of the previous night's "Behind the Music" as you are to hear
an interview with Stars head coach KEN HITCHCOCK.
There's also a fella named GORDON "GORDO" KEITH
who's easily my favorite radio personality second to
HOWARD STERN. Check out his antics between 9 a.m.
(Central) and noon Saturdays. But, I digress. Check out this
telephone interview Norm did with "The CHRIS ARNOLD
Show" in promotion of "Dirty Work":
o "The Chris Arnold Show" audio and transcript
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/ticket.shtml
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o Gordon Keith's "Bohemian Rant" archive
http://www.broadcast.com/radio/archives/ktck/gordonkeith
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o Check out "The Ticket" website
http://www.theticket.com
[ LAUGHS ]
"The Artist Formerly Known as PRINCE says he now wants
to be known as simply, the Artist. Meanwhile, I will continue
to refer to him as simply, the Fruit. ... In other music news,
several major acts are on tour this month, including Counting
Crows, Metallica, and the Fruit."
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"As of next week, ValuJet Airlines will discontinue service to
Mobile, Alabama. According to airline executives, this
cost-cutting measure is expected to save the company over
$200."
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Dennis Miller Live '97: "When I smoked, I didn't like
second-hand smoke. You know? I like that first-hand smoke
because you get to suck it right out of the cigarette, you know?
And that second-hand -- any fucking thing that's already been
ingested by someone is not as good. You know what I mean?
Like a pork sandwich is delicious, but ... a digested pork
sandwich? That's fucking shit!"
[ CONTEST ]
The 19th Caption Contest winner is ... RYAN KREIS!!! The
next round is already underway. Get your entries in by the
June 26th deadline and win a copy of one of our crappy, yet
remarkably cool Norm videos.
o Try your hand at our current contest.
http://www.thefakenews.net/n/contest.shtml
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THE FAKE NEWS
http://www.thefakenews.net
editor
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