Can the alphabet network pick a return date for
"Norm" and stick with it? Apparently not. ABC has pushed the return
of Our Hero's sitcom back one week; therefore it will NOT air tonight. Who's in
Norm's place? You guessed it, Regis Philbin. "Norm and
Shelly in Love" is now scheduled to rerun on June 7...or so ABC
would have us believe.
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| The
"Screwed" up lineup. |
 Is "Screwed"
bizarre? Yes. Is it funny? You bet. Is it as funny as "Dirty
Work"? Well...sadly no. In our opinion, since he had nothing to do with
its writing, the screenplay of "Screwed" did not allow Our Hero to exude the
maximum amount of "Normness" possible (he only got to say the word
"whore" once in the entire movie). We knew "Screwed" was going
to be a little cheesy when we learned that the main character's names resembled that of
dead U.S. Presidents (Willard Fillmore, Rusty P. Hayes, Grover Cleaver). Still, it
had some good laughs. Our only major complaint was that we got to see Norm's bare
ass and not Sarah Silverman's. Some of the funnier scenes include
that of Norm's hand being chewed to bits by Mrs. Crock's (Elaine Stritch)
dog (which resembles a similar scene from "There's Something about Mary"), Dave
Chappelle's character hitting everyone over the head with desk lamps, and Danny
DeVito's character experimenting with items extracted from dead corpses.
Some humorous Norm lines include "She ransomed me with cabbage!" and "Every
time you're scared, you hit someone over the head with a desk lamp!" Sadly,
"Screwed" tanked (as expected) at the box office and made only $3.4 million last
weekend. But, hey, that's 7.4 billion in Italian Lira! We now have 31 reviews in our archive. A
few critics actually enjoyed the movie. Several of them even conveyed appreciation of Our
Hero's shtick and said that the writers (Scott Alexander and
Larry Karaszewski) were to blame for the movie's failure at the boxoffice.
Of course, the vast majority of the reviews despised the script, the actors, even the
lighting. Just ignore them, if you're a Norm fan you will enjoy this
movie. Check out our small library of
"Screwed" pictures. If you have a Screwed pic with Our Hero
in it, drop us a
note.
Correction: Fear not
"Norm" has still been renewed, the only correction we need to make is that
"Norm" will air on Fridays at 9:00 PM (not 9:30) for the 2000-2001 season. ABC's
planned Primetime lineup for Friday is now: 8pm - "Two Guys And A Girl", 8:30pm
- "People Who Fear People" (new series), 9pm - "Norm", 9:30pm -
"Madigan Men" (new series), 10pm - "20/20" (no
"Millionaire").
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| Smile,
you've been renewed! |
Let's all simultaneously breath a sigh of relief. Screwed
may be tanking at the box office, but the alphabet network has decided not to pull an Ohlmeyer
and has chosen to renew the greatest sitcom of all time (we're referring to
"Norm" of course). For the summer, ABC will be running reruns of
"Norm" on Wednesdays at 8:30 PM starting May 31st. Then, at the start of
the 2000-2001 season, "Norm" will move to Fridays at 9:30 PM. ABC's
planned Primetime lineup for Friday will be: "Who Wants to be a
Millionaire?" followed by "Two Guys and a Girl" and then "Norm".
We would have preferred "Norm" to follow "Millionaire" due to
the fact that nearly everyone and their mother is obsessed with Regis Philbin
and the carryover could skyrocket "Norm's" ratings, but we'll take what we can
get. There seems to be no way for Our Hero to get away from Dirty Work costar
Traylor Howard's sitcom.
We just received word today the "Norm"
will NOT air on May 24 or 31 as originally expected. Who's took Our Hero's timeslot?
You guessed it, Regis Philbin. So now, it looks like ABC
will determine the fate of "Norm" over the summer and the deciding agent may be
"Screwed" (whichd today BTW). The ultimate question is: Will ABC
base its decision to renew "Norm" on the critics' perception of "Screwed", which will be decisively
negative, or on the viewer satisfaction of "Screwed", which will be decisively
positive. We will hopefully know the answer sooner than later.
EDITOR'S NOTE (May 15):
"Norm" will air on May 31 after all. See May 15 entry.
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| Norm
washes his weiner dog. |
This is just a friendly reminder: "SCREWED" TOMORROW
SO GO SEE IT! If you can't see it tomorrow for whatever reason, at least
make plans to see it this weekend. Believe it or not, Our Hero's sitcom may depend
on the success of this movie. The suits at the alphabet network may be encouraged to
renew "Norm" (or perhaps some other network will be encouraged to pick it up)
assuming there will be high viewer satisfaction with "Screwed". Of course,
the people at ABC could be crack whores and base their decision on the bad reviews that
the critics will surely give "Screwed". We're
keeping an archive of the reviews. If you find a "Screwed"
review, feel free to drop
us a note. Also, we now have some "Screwed" photos available
in our Movie Pictures Archive. More
media from Norm's second movie will be available in a few days.
Universal Studios may just as well have titled
Norm's second movie "Dirty Work 2". Revenge is Our Hero's specialty.
Check out the
trailer and preview from the official website to see what we mean.
Universal has decided not to show advance screenings in hopes of keeping the critics from
ruining what will certainly be a great movie. We'll
be keeping an archive of the reviews which, so far, consists of a negative
review of a test screening from Dark Horizons. If you find a "Screwed"
review, feel free to drop
us a note.
 |
| "Norm"
losing 3 of its cast members? |
The alphabet network still isn't talking, but they haven't
kept us from hearing stuff through the grapevine. We are very depressed knowing that
The Amazing Breasts of Nikki Cox are leaving the show,
but following them may be Ian Gomez. The word is the characters of
Danny and Taylor will simultaneously exit the show leaving Artie Lange to
be the butt of the big-boned and big-breasted jokes. This unexpected event may have
prompted some script rewrites and may have contributed to the delay in the show's
return. Please note, however, Danny's departure is not yet official as it has not
been confirmed or denied by either ABC or Gomez. We'll keep you up to date as this
story develops.
EDITOR'S NOTE (May 4): For those
of you who forgot, Nikki Cox's contract with the show was only for one season
(sorry). She is set to star in her own sitcom for The WB, which will be produced by
"Norm" executive producer Bruce "The Genius" Helford.
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