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Noel, JB and Heather
I Met Joe Bob Briggs
In October of 1998, I wrote to Mr. Briggs and asked if the High Sheriffs at TNT would allow a friend and I to visit the set during a "MonsterVision" taping. Sure enough, Joe Bob came through for us. We wound up spending the day (Dec. 5, 1998) being a fly-on-the-wall of the studio. Big, big fun!
First off ... yes, we did get to chat with Joe Bob for a moment. Well, we talked with John Bloom. I didn't fully understand the difference before. Now I do. Joe Bob is a super-amplified version of John. At least, that's what I took away from my day on the set. John is focused, bright, quiet, even -- dare I say -- shy?! That's whose hand I shook. He was very friendly. Remembered my email, talked with my friend and I for a few moments. Even posed for a picture with us. Whata guy.
I feel I owe something to the other Joe Bob fans out there for being granted this privilege, so here's some reflections on the day:
| Rusty | Ernie | Bruce and Jay | Gio |
Rusty the TNT Mail Girl. Ye gods! What talents! Seriously, um, she's purty. A red-headed Venus in black fishnet stockings. Drool. Drool.
Ernie the cackling director dude. He's the guy you hear most on the show. Mostly because he stands closest to Joe Bob -- directing John to which camera he should be lookin' at. Nice fella. Scary ponytail. During the lunch break, it ate half my pasta. I swear.
The three camera ops. Bruce, Jay and the boom guy -- fine fellas all of them. Always quick with a dirty joke, or finely crafted one-liner. Oh, the boom-cam guy does a great Harey Caray, "Huh-Ehy!"
The sound guy. Gio is my hero, second to Joe Bob, of course. You see, he gets to mic Rusty (see first item). To watch him gingerly try and attach a tiny microphone somewhere on her ample bosom, without being slapped is a hoot. Once, during a particularly animated Mail Girl segment, Rusty crossed her arms suddenly and rustled the mic -- forcing the scene to be reshot. Cue camera op wisecrack: "There's thunder in the valley!"
The prop lady. She was new from what I understand. I'm a big fan, though. She had a lot of groovy stuff for the set. Even a real-deal Gremlin (on loan from a collector who'd sell the critter for about $2,000). Oh, and one of her little "Joe's Apartment" roaches crawled into my pocket by mistake. Pesky bugger.
Noel's Drive-In Seating Reviews:
The living room set: Joe Bob's throne. The big, leather Lazy Boy with optional steer-horn attachment. Wow! You'd think the sucker'd be comfortable as all get out. Not so. Years of Briggs buttocks has reduced the cushion's effectiveness greatly. It sorta feels like sitting on a board. But, I'm considering adding some horns to MY Lazy Boy. That's S-T-Y-L-E.
The trailer set: Ah, the folding chair. I didn't expect comfort, but, my was I surprised. The crew was resetting for another movie when I decided to sneak over and try it out -- the lights had been turned low, and I figured no one was looking. I sat down. Reached over and picked up Joe Bob's beer coozie (a yellow foam holder that's split with age, surrounded by a plastic TNT cup that's been cut to form the outside of the coozie). "Yep. This is where he sits, alright," I thought. I started to get up when a voice from the control room boomed over the studio speaker system: "PLEASE STAY IN THE CHAIR!" I sat back down. Rattled. The spots come on, and I was basically Joe Bob's stand-in for the lighting check. Shazam!
The kitchen set: The booth seats are the best, by far! Very comfortable. Excellent hiney support. No wonder Joe Bob often chooses this spot for "Last Call." It's especially yummie to watch Rusty slide into the booth again and again and again and again ... did I mention I like Rusty? Four stars. Noel says, "Check it out!"
When we get there. John's assistant takes us into the studio. The first thing I see is a doll floating in a giant pickle jar. "Yep, this must be the place," I think. Joe Bob is standing on the trailer set. His assistant whispers to us, like we're on a deer hunt, "There he is."
Serving John a Coke at lunch.
John's reading through a fan letter, preparing for another Mail Girl segment. The letter's author basically tells Joe Bob what a sorry guy he is, and wonders why TNT puts him on the air. John starts to ask about an expletive in the first sentence. The director cuts him off, saying, "You can say damn, John. Just not goddamn." John replies, grinning, "It says ... FUCKING ... " Everyone laughs.
Watching John give Rusty the Mail Girl "direction" during the read-through. She asks, "What should I do here?" He pauses for a moment, looking very thoughtful, then says, "Flirty. Just be flirty." The man's a god!
During the "Joe's Apartment" show, Joe Bob had this comment about a "cat to the face." It didn't get much of a response from the crew, and when a technical glitch demanded another take, he upped the ante: "Boy! Gotta love that pussy to the face!" The whole crew was rolling. They didn't reshoot it, and it made the Dec. 12 "MonsterVision."
The funniest moment of the day had to be the Mail Girl segment for "Joe's Apartment." They gave Rusty a can of bug spray to use, "Just act like you're spraying it, we'll add the sound in post." She comes out -- spray, spray, spray (little clouds of insect death hang in the air.) They do the letters. At the end of the bit, Joe Bob flicks a plastic roach Rusty's way ... she freaks (for real) and practically sprays him square in the face. That was just as I decided to leave for the day, so I followed Joe Bob and Rusty (heh heh) out of the studio -- all along the way she is apologizing profusely, "I'm so sorry! Did I get you?! Are you OK?! Omigod! I killed the star!!"
Well, I hope y'all enjoyed my ramblings. I'd like to thank John, Tanja and all the friendly crew folks for an entertaining day. Thanks so much!
A fan,
G. Noel Gross
12.7.98
WANNA TRADE?: I have an ever-expanding collection of Joe Bob-related crapola, and need more. The bulk of stuff is Monstervision tapes and "We Are The Weird" and "The Joe Bob Report" newsletters. I'm especially looking for tape from his years at The Movie Channel. I can be contacted at: editor
LINKS OF INTEREST: For "official" stuff visit "MonsterVision" and "Joe Bob's Hollywood Saturday Night." Also, there's the no-longer maintained "Joe Bob Briggs" site (featuring his former "JB Goes to the Drive-In" and "JB's America" newspaper columns.) And last, but not least, Jimmy Fowler of the Dallas Observer wrote an outstanding cover story on JB. It's a must read.
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