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THE WINNER
"Jake and the Fatman" returns to network television this year with a new character: Bulimia Jenkins."
 Nick Soucy
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TOO GOOD NOT TO SHARE
"I believe it's pronounced, 'Manaja-Tua.' "

Payman Abdollahi
"Come on, honey, cut him some slack. He's so proud of dressing himself. He'd be devastated if you point out that he didn't tuck in his T-shirt."

Mike Bass
The actors wait as Carrot Top is escorted off the set.

Danielle
"Why, no Miss. I don't mind being called 'Fat Man,' if you don't mind being called 'Little Boy!' "

Mark S. Daniels
"Now that Artie's got her distracted, she's the perfect victim for a good ol' pantsing! I'm such an evil genius it almost sickens me."

Adam G.
"He's the fighter. I'm just the punching bag."

Dr. Joe
"You see, Norm's having a little trouble adjusting to life after SNL, he hasn't taken the Bob Dole pencil out of his hand for 3 months."

Ryan Kreis
"NOTE TO SELF: Lose the fat guy."

Paul
"I checked the fine print in our contracts. Norm gets 800 grand in cash, and we get free 'Dirty Work' hats."

Marc S.
"Geez! Look at the breasts on that guy!"

Jason D. Towley
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